The KOTAstoprhe

“sir please sir please sir ….sir just please consider the situation…sir how can i produce the real certificate today….sir .my  whole year would be wasted..sir please…”  sitting on the station pavement tears rolled down my face …i was rather confused than sad about the consequences the previous day…confused what made me cry? was it the loss of an academic year or was it pain of the failed plans which i made for my coming life that crashed upon me…i was really confused! i don’t remember what i wanted that time…a soothing hand to support me or just ample time to recoil and console myself about what happened…but whatever i maybe thinking that time…nothing helped…the truth was i was a looser…I don’t have a college to go….i was a bloody looser!! 

JULY 18,2012

i regained my senses to find a white building ahead of me..Anandam Hostel the banner read…all of it just hit me there…everything i left behind..my family…my house …my love ..every thing was kilometers away from me…i was steps away to enter into a whole  another life… a place i didn’t knew would account so much for me so much in my life…..
“Room 219 ye hai aapka room hai” said the old sturdy Jaikishan the chief manager of Anandam Hostel..he was in his late 50’s but looked like he would die the day next…! to my astonishment the room ended  as i entered the room…hot as hell with no ventilation …i have to spend a year in this goddammit place… i can’t  …i won’t “ ek hi saal toh hai…fir se parh ke college le lena avi jao.. don’t waste my time there are more student waiting behind you..please go...”  the words of that officer  kicked my brain again…
“its alright i can stay here..”i said while my dad was busy scanning the room…!So gradually i got my admission in Career Point…i wont talk about the institute  i actually was not interested in that  place…climbing all those 5 floors was a great task….steep stairs you know!So gradually life started in kota, dad left i dont know how i felt that day all i remember was freedom…it was like long lost freedom to me…the long awaited feeling of living alone on my own ,the one which i always dreamed of….laid in front of me!There were a lot of things i had planned to do…a lot of things but the feeling of talking to aparajita 24/7 without any intereption was a big thing for me..
so it started too…but as it is said too much good is evil…. & yes it became…reducing both my studies and the money in my wallet…i talked all day long the condition became so worse that i had to get my recharge done twice a day….but then i thought this is what is called love…today i’ll spend, tomorrow something good will happen!( can u believe that??)…. sometime it came to my mind that i should rather tell her to get the recharge done…i even said but some or the other way it never happened…and it was i who has to call…but that was not a big deal..the only thing that mattered to me that time was just to talk to her every day..& i some or the other way did…
Then one fine day…a message poped on my mobile …it was none other than my sweet best friend miss Riya Gupta..an ex crush,a best friend,a problem solver,a problem maker and a big reason for my every fight with aparajita..haha..funny but true…she always believed that i’m cheating on her with riya.!!.mad girl..!!

So that fine day riya asked  me to meet her at the city mall.at 4:30 pm..i don’t remember the date though!
now coming to riya, she was the best thing that happened to me in kota( first she was the second best thing..but leave)..she actually was my stress buster sometimes, which i realized while i was on my train back to kahalgaon! 😛 ,she was frank with me in nearly all topics,a good listener,a good problem solving brain that worked sometimes, but most importantly a person to rely upon when in trouble!

So it was nearly 4 years since i saw her….how may she look,taller than me?ugly? will she come with friends? should i put more deo!!!!!!!ehhh.. then i came back to senses ..Rahul.. friend! friend!..remember friend! kuch bhi chalega..

” tum yahi sab karne aaye ho school me..? i’ll tell it to josbel madame and to father,yeh sab band karo..jhooth mat bolo..blah !blah! blah blah!!”  this whole scene was playing through my mind in my auto the mall…remembering how she spoiled my b’day ,when she came to knew that i had crush  on her!

How to Stay Motivated Towards Your Goal

“The most important thing about goals is having one”, says a famous quote. Having a goal is an easy thing, accomplishing it is also easy if you are always successful. But, only a few people have such luck of being successful in every step they take towards their goal. The key here is to stay motivated no matter what the situation is.

Everyone struggles with motivation at some point in their lives, whether it is for health, relationship or career. But, instead of seeking motivation from external factors, we should consider seeking it inside ourselves. You can be self-motivated too. Motivation helps us to see the light at the end of a dark tunnel.

There are several factors of motivation, but it is not always money. For example in Maslow’s theory of needs, it is explained that first basic needs are to be fulfilled, then an individual can move on to higher levels of motivation.

You can stay motivated by the following ways too. We have found out full-proof ways proven by psychologists for you:

1. Write down your goals: Writing down your goals and sticking it to a place where you can view it most of the time can help you a lot. They help you to keep focus towards your goals. But, be clear and specific with your writings as they are a reminder and they help you track your progress.

2. Minimize your Distractions: Find your priorities, when you are clear about your priorities, no distractions and time-eaters can waste your time. Disorganized schedules and work desks lead to distractions.

3. Break down your Goals: Breaking your goals into smaller achievable ones can help you a lot. You will feel motivated as you achieve them. This makes big tasks look more achievable.

4. Keep the Big picture in Mind: If you are not able to concentrate, visualize the big picture. Visualize the goal and visualize that you have achieved it, it will give you positive energy and enthusiasm to start fresh.

5. Be Consistent: Take a consistent step every day toward your goals. Being consistent will take you a step further toward your goal every day.

To B.E or not to B.E

​If you google ‘Bachelor of Engineering’, you’ll be guided to a plethora of definitions,but the most simplest of it says that,”it is an undergraduate academic degree awarded to a student after 3 to 5 years of studying engineering at a university or college.”.But in India it means a little more than the provided definiton.Here an engineering degree is the pass to the proverbial land of ‘Settlement’. To get a good job & to settle , is the Great Indian Dream.And somehow  they end up thinking engineering will help them reach there .

The term ‘engineering’ has been moulded in to different casts at different points of our life, during the school life, it was the only way to go if , you loved maths(who the hell did?) Or you were bad in differentiating Cerebrum from Cerebellum.If you do end up in the former category,you were then hoarded into various coachings ,study groups & tuitions who guaranteed you success if you hand them the money.And when the time came, when you actually registered for a btech degree ,you entered the college with hopes & dreams for the best time of your life .But Right there at the gate of your class room ,every idea which Bollywood/Hollywood fed you since childhood about how a college should be, died! Yep! It isn’t ‘Beta House’ my boy & yes you wouldn’t be the ‘Stiff-mister’. 

I believe every engineering college should hang a board on its entrance with “Welcome to the real world Freshers,here air resistance is not taken as zero!” written on it. The reason I’m giving stress on the college is because , this here is the game changer, this defines whether you are an IITian,NITian or from some private institution.If you are from one of the former two institutions ,then life is a little bit more easy for you, but if you are one from the latter,hmmm! Do you know your prayers? 

Time also plays an important factor in engineering, in here we deal in ‘semesters’ or ‘sems’ as we like to call it! Every sem is a HOPE, a hope that it’ll be better than the previous one, even the freshers comes with the belief that they will  invent something revolutionary during their time in college.But every sem turns out to be a merry go round of unfinished assignments,hundreds of labs ,peer pressure to bunk , professor’s pressure to not to bunk, at this point of time even waking up early in the morning is an achievement to you & after all this if you actually think of doing something related to engineering ,you get attacked by the mid sem or end sem exams! Eventually this cycle some how kills the soul of the student, who entered the college with a dream to achieve something ,maybe to be something ! He/she then goes through a metamorphosis which further adds the idea that Money & only money is the key to a well settled life . And Eventually this makes them go astray,now their only aim is to get a job no Matter what,  they do end up having a job & slowly  realise that their work isn’t what they dreamed of, it’s hectic,their lives have become monotonous ,dreams materialistic & they feel it is too late now to do anything.

Some of you might say ” atleast it pays your bills!” I agree & i won’t bullshit that “Money isn’t everything“, actually it is. But the only thing i want you to realise is, that just imagine  will you be ever happy with being monotonous & materialistic? Because i know for a fact that happiness is everything! No Matter what you do, how you do, where you do, at the end of the day you have a right to feel contended, feel happy of what  you do!All in all feel settled!

So  lastly i wanna say is that an engineering gives you more than just a degree, it gives you memories of your everythings first, the first day, the first ragging,the first love, the first backlog , it’ll teach you how to survive on mess’s food, it’ll teach you about the importance of all nighters during exams, about brotherhood & solidarity in standing up for friends during fights & you’ll know more about cost cutting while eating maggi during the end of the months! In the end Somehow all the science and math in this world will end up making a child not an engineer but an adult.So it’s upto you if you wanna join engineering or not but where ever you go whatever you do. All you got to do is wear your dreams like a crown & fight to be the king!

A long time…

hello fellow bloggers & my not so avid readers…hope you are all alive, fine & in good health!

9 moths…haan! quite a time…a baby would have been born in this span of time. i’m sorry but writing now isn’t giving fun as it used to do…basically i started hating the fact that i had to write a load about myself & what’s going on these days with me, it feels like i’m making a hole in the wall which is holding my privacy inside . but that’s that, it still feels same but i’ll write, because i want to.

so starting from the beginning , nothing great has happened so far , i recently was promoted to my third year , the penultimate year of my engineering life & not a very wonderful thing though! schedule is getting tight…limited time , limited money, limited feelings!

feelings are strange man, one day you are a jovial happy go lucky chap & the day next ‘ BOOM’ ! you hate the feeling of even  being alive…it’s frustrating. It’s like , you have to keep them in check …seriously i don’t believe that only the non male folks are hormonal , even guys go crazy for some days in a month.  You go from being a Nicely Suited up Bro to an angry Bull dog in nothing more than a pazama! And yes ! you guessed it right i’m no different…i’m a moody asshole too!

but leaving all that shit behind…lets concentrate on the fact that..I FELL…I FELL REAL B A D! not from the stairs or something….but poetically speaking we can say that, i fell from the ridge of loneliness into the serene sea of love ( i’m hopeless) ! it’s crazy..! it’s bat shit crazy! i know i act like a hopeless romantic every time but falling again for a girl was still unbelievable. But i blame her! blame her because she’s beautiful? or caring? or cute..! ( see this is what i was talking about ..gooey romantic stuff). Either i’m a totally crazy person or the girl is wizard of some kind…& i’m vouching for both of the options…because either you have to be crazy or bewitched ,to travel thousands of kilometers to celebrate her birthday! in an unknown town, with unknown people. You can’t say this is love..or can you? it’s still a debatable topic! But trust me they were the most wonderful 2 days of my life…keeping aside the tiresome travel, the continuous lying  to my parents about my whereabouts & the fact that i left my phone charger at home…everything was like a dream!

The feeling of seeing her after years…’awesome’ is too small of a word to explain the feeling i felt at that time….i knew she would come to receive me on the station. Seeing her (it might sound a bit dramatic) but i swear a train did pass by us, but i was so engulfed in that moment , that i don’t remember hearing anything else….total silence & she said ”  you really came??? i can’t believe , i seriously thought you were joking” . .a lil shorter than me , the cute lil girl with cat eye shades…a white chunari around her neck…She stood there staring at me..smiling ! God…if only somebody recorded that moment!

So we found myself a cheap hotel, met her friends( they didn’t liked me) ,celebrated her birthday & roamed around a little.! And i swear the whole fucking time i was just sinking in the feeling, that i was in her city with her ,riding her scooty ! but that feeling was soon pushed back by the fuzzy feeling of her sitting behind me…God! was i happy!! It was her birthday & it felt like i got my birthday present!

The day next we dressed up…fueled up her scooty & set up for the time of my life…having her behind me on the scooty as we were busy mapping the long highways to nothingness.. talking , listening to songs…she playing with my hair….everything was perfect. We reached our destination somehow, ended up watching another boring movie…as we did every time! But seriously screw the movie , what really mattered was that i was spending time with her…a few hours but it was all worth it. After fooling around a lil bit more & doing things we never thought we will ever do….the time came when the reality struck…i had to leave, my train was an hour late….but i didn’t wanted to leave..i wanted to be with her , standing there, hands in hand ,standing close… staring the water in the pond in front of us…the dusk was settling , calling in the night with it..but if she would have just for once said me to stay a day more…..i would have, in a heart beat. But every good story  has to end someday….& that was the end of the day for us ! She came to bid me goodbye once again…i hugged her …i didn’t wanted to let her go…not again! But we did & here i’m sitting here typing all this for you!

And by the end of this post i  believe the debate on whether i’m crazy or in love would’ve come to an end…!

Ciao!

Just Another Post

I haven’t thought a great amount about this post, it’s just like others… ! It’s nearly 3AM in the morning , I’m on my bed with an empty coffee cup and a Johnny Cash song Playing in the background, it sounds like bliss but you know what this ain’t what I want now.
But the topic isn’t just that too…, the thing which is nagging me is why the hell i feel alone even when I’m surrounded by a bunch of people i call friends, and why the hell only a single persons reply matters more than 10 others who are ready to talk me out of this so called blissful midnight!
Why somebody’s absence creates a void in you …why is it necessary to miss them back !?  I know I sound like a teenage noob, but wait a second just give it thought , think about the times you too pondered about these stuffs. I know right??
it’s exhausting , it’s a wastage of time, but no,hearts wants what it wants..!
And yeah I know I talk like a traumatised person who ran out of the mental asylum before the given period! But hey !don’t judge me by my posts, I’m a lot creative, thoughtful and happy go lucky in real life.
(B.T.W those who haven’t heard the song ‘always in my head ‘ by Coldplay, go listen to it…)
Yeah I know I get distracted easily, & this blog writing at midnight isn’t a good idea for those ,whose exams are overhead and a lot of deadlines are staring right in their eyes( for me)!
So I know this posts started someplace and ended elsewhere , but that’s the beauty of my writing I think( I know I’m bragging). B.T.W if given time , do ponder about why our mind acts like a complete jerk late nights!
till then Namaste!

Vacations

Hey all ! End sems are over and the vacations has started…so as all vacations are ,this one is also no special…same old exciting start with a hope to go home…and then when you realise you have reached home you are hit by the thought that there is nothing to do in this looooong span of time …but still you plan yourselves a schedule to do …but the truth we all know is that all we gonna do is sleep and be fat all this summer…! The actual problem is in  the basic formula of vacations..according to textbook knowledge you should be happy about vacations (that you always are)…but lets move a lil away from the topic…what difference does vacations and a working day actually have…i don’t know about you , but for me” Vacations = {(working day sleep)-(working day tension)}”!!!

But as we all know(or don’t know) is that vacations just are just a sorry excuse  to send us home after each semester so that the Ph.d professors could live a happy life at last(for a week or two)!it was never meant for us…we are just a cheque of Rs 35,000 or more to the college…’You Pay You Stay’ is their Motto ! But i don’t even have a problem with that ..who the hell wants to see the faces of those hideous professors on a daily basis too…for me college is more of a scary haunted house where we pay to see scary looking ,knowledge bragging  old lifeless souls entering class rooms after every 50  mins…and scaring the hell out of us for the next 50 !

But Vacations are a boon or a curse is still a debatable topic..you might remind me of the cliche dialogue that if you use your time judiciously  this vacation is good for you and blah blah blhabitty blah…..! seriously cut the crap ,i guarantee you,ask any normal 20-21 year old engineering(indian) student on a vacations ” what will you do this summer….?? and his reply will be ” yaar kya karna hai..sherlock ki 3rd season download ho gayi hai wahi dekhna hai..sutta marna hai…aur sona hai…aur kya…btw bhai koi naya maal hai tere lappy me …pendrive le…16 gb hai..poora bhar dena!!” i don’t know anything about the Non-Males but for us boys means downloading american sitcoms or series…sutta(cigarette)  day and night ,porn and sleep..& porn again!

And after all this brain storming or as you can say in hindi chutiyapa..i hereby declare Vacations as OVERRATED! So if you are still waiting for your vacations then fair enough…create a virtual reality world of what you will be doing in this summer and how that will benefit mankind in coming days ! and for my friend who are enjoying(theoretically) their vacations…keep enjoying(lol)…btw…does anyone reading this  have  the link to download 4th season of Games of Thrones???🍻🔞🆒

In dreams i still remember you like the day we first met…i still talk to you like i did every night… In dreams i still love you like i did always!

A letter to that Nice Guy I ignored that one time

It was about time someone said this….

days like crazy paving

a shift in perspective can help.

Dear Nice Guy,

I’d say you probably don’t remember me, but I know you do. I know you remember me the way you remember every single girl you’ve ever latched onto like a leech who also happens to recommend books and carry shopping bags. I know you remember me because this is a small town and people talk and you wouldn’t believe some of the things people tell me you say about me, except that I guess you would because I know for sure that you said them.

I know you’ve waxed poetic at length to anyone who will listen (and a fair few people who won’t) about how I don’t know what I’m missing. And you know what? I guess you’re right. I don’t know what I’m missing. Maybe if, somewhere between the endless offers of a lift home and the free coffees…

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Confused stars!!⏰🔜

Life is one hell of a complicated thing…every step takes you to a point where you can take that point as a hurdle or as a stepping stone to a new path.
Feelings &  emotions are taking a toll over me… Nights are sleepless and days dreamy neither the sleep nor food is helping me getting over myself!!

Yup you are right !!!either i’m going mad or this is some other feeling taking me down!! Love, hate , heartbreaks … What  it is… it’s unknown to me!!

Cuz past week has shown me things that has been or will be a turning point in my life! Goals were rechecked, love revisited, ideology changed and so did the feelings!
It’s been said that”

if you love something so much the whole universe helps you to get it

!!”

But i think it was a lie developed years after years to fool people like us!!! If not people then it’s only me i suppose! 😥😧 but I’ll not give up so easily!! Some fine day I’ll bounce back and hit the bell first! Be the man i always wanted to be!👑👑👑

HOW I MET THEM…

Remember the moment when you were all broken…no fun in life, literally bored every 5 seconds..& then you found out about this amazing thing  which you just can’t put down.???   It starts as a hobby, then turns out to be an addiction & at last it becomes an integral part of your life…a day without it, is like a day without sunlight ,ponds without fish…all in all super boring! for me , it was an American sitcom How I Met Your Mother. I really don’t remember how it all started but when it did ,  it  sure never ended !

For all those of you who haven’t seen it till now( if u haven’t ,you are a douche bag! go watch it!!)..it’s a story of a man who narrates his children how he met their mother, i still remember the first line ted said in the pilot episode…”kids  i’m gonna tell you an incredible story , the story of how i met your mother!” if asked i can  narrate the whole story from the pilot episode till the finale, it’s just at the tip of my tongue,you name the episode &  i’ll depict it to you..i’ll even throw some high fives in between the narration..  that is the level of addiction or you can say the amount of  brain space it has made in my cerebrum!

So most of you would have seen the season finale….and yes that was totally unexpected..A real ‘Major Disappointment’…i won’t say i didn’t cry…but as Marshals says…a little white tender flower cried about it in the shower all night! The mother’s death…Robin & Barney’s Divorce & Robin again being the soul mate of Ted..it was really not what i expected…but  it wasn’t that  bad too…realistic is the word for it!

Like every failed relationships (in this case mine with HIMYM) there are some memorable moments…and it has loads…

Ted stealing the blue french horn for Robin (twice), high fives by Barney, Marshal shaving his head during  his wedding ,Lily  being the perfect wife..and Robin going all Canadian…the Slaps-giving, the Perfect week by Barney, Stripper lily & more & more & more…

but HIMYM wasn’t  just a regular rom-com, it had it’s own  moments of reality….both Bays and Thomas kept their moments of realism. The Death of Marshals father , Lily & Marshal breaking off, Robin finding that she could never be a mother, Barney confronting his real father for not being there  for him, the mother’s death. Everything was kept simple yet real!though many can relate watching each of these episodes  with wet eyes and sobbing.. but all those episodes also  thought us  loads with every passing second..

and then there were catch phrases ….yup the first one LEGEN wait for it Dary!, Haaaaaaave you met TED!?, Highest of fives, Barnacle, actually most of it was because of barney ! all hail barney..he was really Legendary!

the ‘Nothing good Happen After 2 AM rule, the play book, the bro- code, barney’s gay black brother,and who could forget Robin Sparkles and her alter ego grunge singing  Robin Daggers…stripper Lilly, the Cock-a-Mouse, robin’s addiction to guns and cigars, ted  correcting everyones grammar, Marshal singing about everything he does…oh! at a whole it was awesome and for me i still can’t believe it ended!

But it’s nature’s rule ,’everything has an expiry date’ and it was better for the show to end … …but not the  memories, not the fun, not the laughs and not the tears…everything  else will continue to reside in my heart …

Ted thought me how to be a hopeless romantic getting heartbroken still being himself growing with each relationship and waiting patiently for the one that special one who’ll turn our life around, Marshal-Lily teaching how to be in a relationship still being awesome , they thought us how to keep the gang together, lily’s commitment to the group her sacrifices ,marshals sacrifices for her , Robin thought us  that whatever your past was whatever your present throw at us, be subtle,get drunk,and focus on your aim! and Barney? he just thought us to Stop being sad and be Awesome instead..cuz he’s legendary he’s Barney.

so keep the friendship going, save all the seasons for your children to watch, sit back get drunk ,relax ,suit up, be awesome because everything will be alright at the end  you just have to WAIT FOR IT………