days are like w…

days are like water droplets….every drop leaves a mark on your mind!

Let’s buy a dog?…….. NO!

In this internet age there are only two types of people….1)Cat person, 2) Dog Person… but i don’t understand why people like cats? they literally are Satan’s henchmen! a dog on the other hand is an angel sent by god himself.

For example the cat will poop in your breakfast,scratch your face,and vomit hairballs all over the place…where as a dog wouldn’t eat from the same plate in which you did! but then if you observe the people who owns the cat they are no way different from the cat it self…you can find lots and lots of cat fanatic people all over the world who would go on and on and on about everything their Mr.Mittens did today and how it was cute ,and how at last he ate the gold fish from the fish bowl & acted like he didn’t ! i can never understand the cats & their owners!

so yep i’m thinking of buying a dog ….! ya i know i’m going crazy now a days!

but i always wanted a poodle after chelsea! btw chelsea was the name of the pet dog my ex had! never met in personnel  but listening to her daily escapades i wish i had one! i’m not into big hounds or German shepherds  …small white puppies(like shinchan’s SHIRO) will do for me! a white cuddly bastard with nearly no brain , acting like a jerk , just sitting and being cute! (dude! my mind seems to be fucked up….i sound like a girl with   daddy issues!!)

 

but that’s when i buy a dog….but first why would i buy one? here are some points!

*i’m alone

*i’m alone

*i need one,cuz i’m alone!!!!

seriously this nothingness inside me has started taking toll on my brain …… i start falling in love with any body & every girl i meet ,anywhere,any day 24×7! i recently started hitting on my best friend(girl)! and i regret that …! and when i don’t get the proper answer as i expected from her i feel like i’m friend zoned! but that’s just me….so the most important topic of discussion here is that , can a dog remove the emptiness with it’s small legs ,white fur and daily nonsense’s!????

but then let just say i bought one! where would i keep it? what would i feed it? how will i take care of it!? what if it bites me and i  catch rabies? what if it just sits and shits all over the place and makes every thing messy!? hell no i  can’t let that happen! that fucking  little dog can’t ruin my already fucked up life!

so here are the points why i shouldn’t have a dog!

*i can’t feed myself completely ,how would i feed him!

*i can be with the person farting in the same room ,let alone cleaning this dog’s shit!

*where would i keep it? it’s my home not your kennel bitch! duh!

*who would take care of it, when i go to college? what if it dies in my absence? i can’t take blame for a puppy murder!

*most importantly , what if i buy one , manage all the shit mentioned above and at last when i start caring for him like my life…he leaves me forever….alone..back to square one? i can’t take that…not again,,not with a dog!

so the dog may or may not come that’s a hard decision! cuz the pro and the cons of being a dog owner will always be a topic of argument! well at least for me ..for some time!but  i think i need to find a proper girl who would rather subside these feelings! till then if you are reading this and you are a cute girl….contact me! please! hahaha!:P

It’s an Anniversary !!!

A year or so have passed …the day still haunts me but frankly speaking  not a single drop of tear ever left my eye remembering that day…..! and i don’t regret it either…i do miss her but not in a way that makes me drool all over the place and drink and sing sad love songs about her!but  i do miss her when ever i’m alone ,because even miles apart ,when we talked , she seemed sitting right next to me talking ,caring,scolding,loving! I miss her when ever i see a couple sharing a laugh together..i really want to see her laugh …cuz all she wanted to do was laugh and stay happy…and for me my love grew for her  whenever she laughed….but now that sound just lives inside me …!

i don’t know what went wrong …whether it was the distance , the fights, or something else that distanced me from her ! i still remember the moment crystal clear…i hung up the call saying …”i wish we never meet again!!” when the truth was, every day of my life from the day i met her  i wished to be near her, to hug her …to kiss her…! that’s all i wanted..that’s all i’ll never have!

But slowly & steadily i have started seeing the brighter side of this…i learned so much…trust me so much..! about me about the life and the world…and every one around me…the important ones , the ones who really love me…the one whom i should love back…! the changes i need and the perfection i desire…everything was thought by that breakup…slowly in time! molding and perfecting  me everyday! making me a better human!

but let bygones be bygones…i know she must have totally forgotten about me…leave alone missing me! & life is all about moving on too…but i hope ,some fine day i meet her again some place away , like grown ups…i wouldn’t confront her..(that would be foolish) rather i would ask how life was after me…and i’ll tell her mine….and again part ways! contended,satisfied…completing the circle of life!

to the good god above….

I got a college and i’m single….have enough money for any type of hooliganism. And a very good girl best friend(confused though)!so u think what’s that I want more from my life..? I don’t need a girlfriend for sure…not for now…! but yeah I know i need  some one to emotionally support me at times( geezz I sound like a girl) …I don’t know why but my brain is thinking each and every thing 24×7 365 days… even when I sleep… and seriously it’s not a very intelligent thinking going up there…life, love, sex, friendship that crush at college, the half left answer sheet , my body, her body, things to do before dying, things not to do tomorrow…and it goes on and on and on and on…!

frustration has reached its maximum level…exams too are over…but something is missing…i don”t  know what but there is something that i don’t have now…

it may feel stupid but i’m sure that my life is a sitcom…!it is  the overdose of continuous watching how  i met your mother or castle or it is my minds way of saying that i have gone crack at last…! i basing my decisions  on them ..! and believe me or not  they are helping me!

but oh! good God above i promise to be a the One for a HER so that she can be the One for ME!

What did i leave back at kota?

This post came out from no where trust me ! Don’t know why but from past few months after i returned back from kota..i have been dreaming about that place constantly..! And i don’t know why! From roaming in my previous hostel rooms to morning walks with Riya in I.L ….they don’t stop..some times i see myself eating tandoori patties..and some times going to city mall…the ambience of that place has made home in my brain tissues…the most weirdest thing that happened was ..that i arrived at kota…then i forgot how i came..then i forgot why i came there..and how would i return and more importantly where would i return? Dreams are really one hell of a place to be!

Don’t know why i’m getting a feeling that i left something there & that’s why these dreams keep happening… logically going then i would say that since my stay at kota was full of moments and instances that are an important part of my life that’s why that place is stuck between my brain lobes!
But being a thoughtful person and a poet of some kind i would not fall for the latter reasoning! I do believe that i left some thing there and it want me to come back and finish or take that…but i don’t know what or why?! I’m a strong believer in the theory of “The Circle Of Life” i do think that we have to end or complete the thing at the same place where it all started! Till then it haunts you or keep coming in front of as various forms or things( no! Not ghosts!)

But in my case neither i have rapped and killed a girl and buried her body in some well or ditch at kota ..nor  had i ever left ample amount of treasure hidden at any fort at that place! ( you may find ample amount of zero bearing test papers at any staffroom in career point! Maybe!)
So what the hell keeps reminding me of that place? And i seriously don’t know…but hopefully someday I’ll return to that place and find what i have left there! Till then may god keep it safe!

The College Day

So…here it comes 16th of August …& i enter my college  with speculations and  frustration.. clearly speaking no enthusiasm or excitement.. a big dreamer doesn’t like small gifts .. that’s the human nature!
So the entry was not a very great one……big moustached Bengali boys who are indistinguishable whether they are the students,parent or some teaching faculty,roaming everywhere ..My eyes were still  searching for someone worth to look at…a beautiful girl or a hot senior..but what can i expect from a private engineering college in the middle of a jungle!
So after acquiring my i.d card i moved to some open air auditorium…they call it the Nazrul Manch..i still call it a open air god forsaken stage!
Frankly speaking my mind was roaming in the above space thinking about the 4years i was about to live there..but more importantly the Ragging done by the seniors..i have heard many stories of the type of ragging done in colleges…from mere introduction of freshers  to  peeing on an electric heater…! Even the thought of it make my lower body parts go tense!

So the ceremony started..with a bengali song…Rabindra sangeet by a second year senior .( he was horrible)!
& then started the long boring lectures by our respected hods.. The seating arrangement was done as such that every department sits together…so whenever the hod of a particular department came for the long lectures..only the respected department freshers clapped..too much of department love on a single day!:-)

But every thing changed after a specific speech…it was from a lady..she didn’t wasted the time giving speeches…instead she insisted to tell a story..i have heard that story..but at that time..i actually assessed the real meaning of it and tried to install in my life system…then i understood no matter where i’m ..i have to do it…to throw off the dust from my head and step up on it and come out of the dead well…and gallop ahead fit, fine and living!And then some more inspirational speeches made some impact..and after all of the lectures..all i summarized was that “hey! Rahul..man may be you have  stay here for a long 4 years…but that will not be a simple stay…four years of hard work for real future,4 years of experiences to learn for the rat racing world, 4 years of friendship for  life..4 years of moments to remember at the deathbed ! So buckle up  a roller coaster journey is on its way! And it will be Legen wait for it Dary!”

Ps: the ceremony ended with a dance of a duo of  not so good looking seniors!

6 Days from College

Hola  amigos! Como estàs….?  Don’t juggle your minds…Spanish for starter..i’m trying to learn it..! And that above meant “hello how are you?’
BTW…i have a good news and a bad news…good one first….i got a college… bad one i got it through wb.jee and..the minimal news is that it’s Dr. B.C Roy Engineering College!  The only thing i can brag about that college is that it is connected through edu sat (education satellite) connecting us to some ivy league colleges!
I  don’t know what I’ll be doing in that college.. the infrastructure is OK for any private college in that area..all my dreams are are stake here..but all i remember is the pledge i took that no matter which college i go..I’ll try my best not to divert my ambitions..Pray that i don’t fail this time..
I’ve continuously failed my parents with my failures …i want them to be real proud of me this time! i even changed my stream ..i opted for Electrical engineering instead of computer science!
Rahi baat relationship ki ..m still not ready for that…there still some time left for my heart to heal…! But yeah I’ll fall once again! But that’s for some other day!
I know is post is type of boring and yeah self centered and full of daily misery! But what can i do..i had to bark some where and whats better than a digital blog with no consequences what so ever..and  where no body gives a damn and  still the writer is contended! So i promise the next posts will be interesting and intriguing… so tada ! Stay healthy …ask questions and seek answers!
PS:  i bought the new Dan Brown Novel…”INFERNO”!

A friend in need…..

Crush,best friend,ex girlfriend,girl best friend…what ever you call her, but for me she has really evolved as an important part of my life in these past months….i’m talking about my really closest friend…Riya Gupta! (don’t go searching over my friend list for her…first read this post..Stalkers!.)

I can blame my every present condition to this moron…but i can also be happy that this darling was always by my side no matter what happened…even when i left her she had faith  that i’ll return..such was her friendship for me!
Separated in childhood like an ex..5 years of no contact what so ever…and then BAAM!..we meet again in kota…the hell where i survived for a year…and i can surely say that hell was made a lil better with that girl around…!!

the reason this post came into existence is, that i miss her today..not because i like her or something…but because from past few days…i keep remembering kota ,my hard work,my masti ,my loneliness,my moments of self realization and the person who cared…believe me or not each and every thing some how brings me to this stupid…! (beta agar ye tu parh rahi hai toh jaan le tu abhi v mere liye suaar hai)

Be it a movie ya fir Sunday morning walk in I.L colony, this lady was always there  for company…and i liked it too… she shared her part of  the week, her makeups and the breakups…her hostel k dangey and Allen key pangey…all was said on that Sunday, while we roamed 4 hours aimlessly in the December mornings!

I remember it was March 1st 2013 at 2am…i just broke up with somebody…and i was really shattered that time… all the dreams,everything just came upon me  so badly…so i took my cell dialed a number and the first thing i said was…” riya tu mujhe kabhi chorkey to nahi jayegi na?”…that was all my mind could afford that time…what so ever happens i should not loose this friend that was all i thought that time! A second later i thought ..” are you out of your mind rahul? what are you asking…and to whom are you asking this question ?” and in between all that brainstorming a reply came..”pagal ho gya hai kya? main nahi jaungi tujhe chor k..!”
and every thing just calmed down! ( don’t know why i’m writing this so emotionally ..i swear it is automatic)

but the best part which i realized months later was the day when i was leaving Kota…i was really very happy… very happy! i thought now this is the end of all this mess..
so i bid good bye to all near and dear ones riya included..and boarded the train….just in 10 minutes of my journey my phone flashed riya’s number..she was calling me… i thought she called  just to ask if i boarded the train or not…! but when i took that call…i heard that stupid girl was crying…at one hand i was happy that i’m leaving this hell and in other i’m confused that why the hell is this girl gone mad and is crying ? …i some how consoled her that time..& then it took me 4 months 3 weeks and 1 day to understand that…she was crying because we were best buddies …  i may be exaggerating but  i think she cried  because she lost the anchor that day,which some how held her in her hard times…(or she cried because she is a girl and it’s in her D.N.A!)
but today that faint sound of her sobbing on the phone  really made my eyes teary…!

after reading this many of you may be thinking…are you mad mr. rahul?? you both are not just friends…you are ..umm..you know…a couple…! but dear readers…don’t you think i also brainstormed on this topic? i did and after all those brainstorming i  came to the conclusion that …nah! we are not in that relationship type freak show…and never will be…!
the care is of same level but feelings are not same….and more over this relationship can never happen because I’M AWESOME and she Just a plain Riya …she is just ‘aweso’ without ‘ME’!

but hey! riya i know you are reading this…and i hope you are teary eyed again(you should or i’ll hit you in the face and you would be)..no matter how many girls come in my life..no matter how many crushes i have..how many relationship i fall into…how many times k.m tries to nag you again…..remember…. no number of thank yous and no number of hugs will ever explain our friendships …you are and you’ll always be that special girl who was my first crush and my last wingman..my sweet lil best friend!

That Innocent Smile

How many of you have problems? Weird question isn’t it? who doesn’t..?
Every one have their own problems… Some are  unhappy with their current life, some just hate others seeing happy,some are sad because of their failure, some in tears for their loved ones …concluding  that everybody has his or her sack of problems…. btw another weird question.. How many of you smile even when in problems? After reading this you might be thinking , that my problems have made me a maniac..ha-ha!

But why am i going so berserk about everybody’s problems..?
the reason is “ IT’S NOT WORTH YOUR TIME”….

June 20,2013

i was seated in the large hall of Apollo Gleaneagles Hospital Kolkata, doing my usual boy stuff , Staring beautiful bongs and judging who shouldn’t own the smartphone he/she have…i think some match was coming on  the t.v too..
and again like all of us , problems engulfed me again…mummy’s  health..which college i would get..would india win the champions league…uh! frustration!

i was busy counting my God Gifted Problems..a family of four came & sat next to me… i saw a lil girl of 7 or 8  in a yellow frock sitting next to me…big beautiful  eyes..& a strange innocent smile on her face..i must tell you she wasn’t gifted with a normal personality like our’s  & i think that was the reason they came there..!

She was busy in her own world…seeing things ,trying to understand them, smiling..and then busy again with her water bottle. She was a delight to watch…!
i was constantly looking at her thinking she would …see me and smile back…but her whole concentration was shifted towards another kid who was busy with his own world…! I was really desperate for her cute smile…!
and then she looked at me and gave a big big smile..she almost squealed loudly..haha..she was such a darling…and to my astonishment i was no more in my pool of problems. Seeing her smiling and laughing not sad about her condition.. she was really like the pole star for me that day..!
We spent ample amount of time playing together..making her smile was easy but gave a different type of satisfaction.She was really at the top of the world that time happy as hell .. i felt i was like Barfi to that lil Jhilmil…! haha!

i don’t remember her name nor do i know why she was there,where she live and all..but all do i remember,  is that day, that particular day …i learned from the most unexpected person that no matter how big are your problems … it’s never  worth your time… love, laugh ,live. & thank u jhilmil! 🙂

The Pilot Post

namaste!…hola! etc…etc…  the date is 13th of June 2013….only 2 days from my fav India Pakistan one day match… ya i”m an Indian teenager… 20 yrs of age… like all other normal 20 yr old chap i’m also pursuing my career in engineering…its perfectly normal here! (you can be socially outcast ed from the society if you don’t study engineering or medical at this age here & then no body will marry you..)

currently i’m waiting for the counselling dates for the colleges…i took a year drop for cracking the IIT-JEE or the advance as they call it now… but it didn’t worked as i thought  but that story for some other day…

  

So i think  you all  saw the  title and came here to know more..or you just stumbled down here or you think i’m cute!

but none of that matters( except for the thinking me cute thing & that also only if you are a girl ..a real girl!)

and nothing really matters to me unless it is related to me…my family …my friends…my life and the ones who inspire me…

i have a lot to do… a lot to think…and so much to dream…so i prefer sleeping more important 😛

i wont write more today because its just my first day here…and some more ground rules are as follows:-

• i’ll update once or twice in a month
• and don’t comment if you think my grammar is wrong..your’s isn’t either..
• Do COMMENT!
• no fourth rule! 

So adios…ta ta.. cheerio! i promise it would be worth a read…you just have to Wait for it……..